Sunday, June 22, 2008

Married--Without a single date! (Beat that!)

Tim and I never dated before we got married. Saying that even now makes me laugh. Tim and I both grew up around the Covina, California area, but attended different high schools. We belonged to the same church and had seen each other once or twice at different church events. I was the same age as his older sister Patti and never thought of Tim other than as an annoying little brother who was a little geeky and awkward.

We attended the same college but at different times. Tim left the country to live in Central America for two years while I worked at a company in the City of Industry after graduation from college. I developed a best friend who also worked for the same company. She and I did everything together. We had a deep love for the Dodgers and often would ditch work and attend day games. Her name was Susan C.

When I got bored with work, I decided to leave the state for a time and went to live in Kansas and Nebraska. I didn’t find myself in either state, but it was there I fell in love for the first time.

He was a Lieutenant in the Air Force. He worked for the Strategic Air Command in Omaha. I had never felt such passion for a man before in my life. It was heady stuff. His name was Michael D. I had visions of marrying him, moving with him all over the world and living happily ever after. But that was not to be.

Full of hurt and frustration about not being able to continued to pursue a relationship with Michael at that time because of his commitments and mine, I finally went home to San Dimas, where my parents were living at the time. Michael and I corresponded for a while, then I received a marriage announcement from him and was devastated.

My best friend Susan lived in San Dimas. I think she was a little jealous of my time spent away from her because our friendship always seemed a little strained after that. In 1980, Tim purchased his parents home in San Dimas and had moved there and before I returned home from Omaha. Susan and Tim were dating. In fact, on the second day of my return from Omaha, Susan felt sorry for me and invited me along on her and Tim’s date to Disneyland. It was a wonderful night, at least for Tim and me. We had so much in common as we had both moved away from home for a time of self discovery and learning. We talked the entire time comparing our journeys. Susan sat in the front of the car next to Tim in a huff. For the next couple of months, the three of us did all kinds of activities together. We went to the movies, the beach, church activities and parties as a threesome. Tim and I always had plenty to talk about and Susan would most likely endure the evening with a scowl on her face.

Upon my return from Omaha, my good friend Debbie R. got me a job at a furniture manufacturer in the City of Industry and I started work as a secretary to the credit manager. It was a job I really loved. It gave me plenty of time to flirt with the gorgeous salesmen who worked there. The personnel manager knew I was a Dodger fan and offered me box seats for a game.

Now normally, I would have jumped at the opportunity to invite Susan along with me to a Dodger game. She and I were big fans. But for some reason I called Tim on the phone and invited him. He said he would have to meet me there because he didn’t want to come home to San Dimas from North Hollywood, where he was working at the time, and go all the way back to Los Angeles. About the third inning of a rather boring game, the Dodgers were behind as usual, Tim informs me that he had sent Susan a dozen roses and confessed his love for her that very day. My heart felt like it had torn right out of my chest, ripped in two and had the two halves strewn about on the hard cement floor of the stadium. I fiddled with my program and drew a little broken heart on it surrounded by little tear drops. I had no idea that Tim noticed my little drawing and it caused him to think about me and wonder. I left the game in the sixth inning.

The next day was a Saturday and I busied myself cleaning up my mother’s home. Tim called on the phone and wanted to talk. I was curious as to what he wanted, so I invited him over. I was dressed in my shabby work clothes and covered in dust and dirt when he arrived. Sitting down on my couch he gently asked me why I had drawn the little broken heart on my program. I struggled to find the right words to tell him that I loved him. But as we sat there together, and compared our lives, our goals and dreams, he confessed that he felt the same way about me.

Sunday he proposed to me over my mother’s roast beef dinner and in two months, on July 10, 1983, we were married. Oh, by the way, we named our only son Michael!


Tim Malone said...

Hey Carol,

What were you doing in Omaha? I wonder if Michael will ever read this essay. I'll bet he's married and has lots of kids. That's so wonderful that you found a loving husband who treats you with kindness and respect. He must be a good man. You had better hang on to him.

CMalone said...

I was serving a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Michael D was serving in the military in Omaha and was in the ward (or congregation) that I was assigned to at the time. We actually Googled Michael and his is married with 5 kids and is the CEO of a company in Kentucky. Very successful I'm sure.

But I do now have a fantastic husband. He has been so kind and supportive of me and has put up with a lot of trouble from me. He has been patient through my weight issues and now is delighted to watch me get smaller. I love him very much. He is more than my best friend, he is my companion. Everything I do, I do for him.

Kalola said...

Carol ~ I just found your blog today through Tim's blog Latter-day Commentary. From one Carol to another Carol, I want you to know I feel I have found a kindred spirit. Finding your blog is an answer to a personal prayer.

BTW, Kalola is Hawaiian for Carol. Peace.

Grandma Labrum said...

I, too, found your blog through your husband's. It is funny how parallel our lives are. My husband and I married two months to the day after he returned from his mission, and we had never met before. Some mutual friends gave me his address and we wrote for 24 months. I also have problems with weight and struggle with it constantly. Severe asthma makes it very difficult exercise, even walk sometimes, along with a knee replacement that has problems of its own. I am looking forward to learning more about your success.

CMalone said...

Hi Kalola,

Thanks so much for coming to visit my blog. I was wondering if anyone would ever come to my blog. My husband's blog is very popular, but he's been doing this for much longer. I'm still getting the hang of blogging.

I visited you blog. It was very interesting. I love your play list. I was amused with the 50's housewife/husband list. It would have to be reversed in my case for my husband works from home and I go outside the home to work. It's a nice sentiment, but not very practical for today's women. But on the other hand, neither is thinking that every women in America's suburbia look and act like the women of Wysteria lane. Hollywood just doesn't get modern women.

I don't know what aspect of my blog you found to your liking, but I'm glad I shared something that helped you. I have been on a very long journey of discovery. I have had a 180 degree turnaround in my thinking and acting. Life is about change afterall, we just have to be in the right frame of mind to act on that impulse.

Again, thanks for coming by the blog.


CMalone said...

Dear Grandma Labrum,

Thank you for your comments on my blog. This is a new experience for me putting my thoughts out in cyberspace and hoping it will be well received. Everyone has a story to share and most if not all can affect other people in some way, hopefully for the positive. I have been on a very long journey and am just starting to see the results. Something I failed to mention in my blog is that even though I enjoy exercising at the little gym each morning, I have managed to suffer some compression in my lower spine thus causing my hip and foot to be alive with incredible pain.

The only relief I had came from a brief stint with an accupuncturist. Because insurance wouldn't pick up part of the expense, I had to quit. So everyday is a struggle to exercise while I'm in great pain. My doctor assures me that when I lose all the weight I should, things will get back to normal. Hah! We'll see. Anyway, I feel no pain no gain. (That's a crock!) I take a lot of Tylenol.

Thanks again for your comments.


backandthen said...

My name is Gwennaƫlle and guess how I have found your blog?

If you want to lose weight just try what I did last year that made me lose 14 lbs in one week: get sick!

Then I lost another 6 lbs but I have more to go before I am acceptable to myself.

Anyway welcome in the blogging world. I have had one blog before that I totally deleted because it was more a therapy than a blog really. Once the crisis was over I did not feel like keeping it out for people to read.
My new one is meant to last because it is not a crisis blog, it is a journey blog and since this journey is meant to last my entire life... ;oP

And as far as your title goes ("Beat that") I am ready to take the challenge! Beside you did date him once...your friend Susan just did not know it was your date and not hers! You heart breaker LOL

S.Faux said...

I mean this as a compliment:

I think they could make a movie from your story: it would be a romantic comedy. Anyway, such a movie would be a lot better than most LDS ones I have seen. Let me know if it ever comes out.

CMalone said...

Dear Gwennaƫlle,

Thank you so much for your comments on my blog. Your posts were very insightful. This blogging stuff is educational and exciting. I never thought I'd put my innermost feelings out for the world to inspect. Sometimes it scares me to think those things I hold dear and sacred are there for people to read.

Anyway, I can't think it was one thing that inspired me to loss weight. For a year I exercised and only lost 28 pounds. I knew I had to do more. There was no magic pills, no genie in a bottle who granted me 3 wishes. I used to read the bottles of weight loss products and they would say that in order to loss weight with their product you had to combine the pill with diet and exercise. So I decided to skip the pills.

I'll be writing another post that describes in detail my eating patterns and the new habits that I have learned.

Good luck on your journey.